


I Felt Your Shape

by orphan_account



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Sex, M/M, One Shot, Post-Episode: e018 Juno Steel and the Final Resting Place, i fucking love italics, let peter nureyev be sad, this boy has been through so much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-01
Updated: 2018-03-01
Packaged: 2019-03-25 15:22:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13837560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: When Peter Nureyev woke from what could only be considered the best night of his life, Juno was not beside him as he should have been.





	I Felt Your Shape

**Author's Note:**

> hey!  
> as a newbie writer, criticism is greatly appreciated, but so are kudos and comments. i've never published anything before so i hope it doesn't suck too badly  
> i based off the fic/title on i felt your shape by the microphones.   
> cheers!  
> \- peter (@spookyghostboy)
> 
> EDIT: OH MY GOD 30+ KUDOS????? ILY GUYS I’M GONNA CRY????? THANK YOU GUYS FOR ENJOYING MY TRASH

One night stands seem so much simpler. You know when everything is finished, that they aren’t going to stay. It feels so much easier to open your heart to a complete stranger than opening up to someone you know, not knowing whether they were going to stay or leave or not. It’s a slippery slope, really.

Peter was never one to stay. Truthfully, he was never one to stay the morning after, either. He was never in one place for too long. Running had become a routine. With every new planet, he would find himself a lucky gentlemen to find himself in bed with, only to leave him for the next. He kept himself at a comfortable distance from connections and never let himself get attached.

He didn’t know what had happened when he had met Juno.

When he had met the brooding detective, all of the thief’s logic went out the window Juno had tried to climb out of during a certainly unforgettable introduction. It was charming, really. He had kept it at light flirting and did not keep his hands to self, as per usual. Something had clicked within just the first meeting, though. And it was so _impossibly frustrating_ because nobody had ever made Peter Nureyev feel the way he did towards Juno Steel. Not in his entire career, not in a series of fake identities and one night stands, not in 36 years. 

Mag was the first one to teach him that no connection truly lasts. That nobody is in your life forever and that love was distraction for bigger and better things. He taught Peter that it was never wise to be attached to anybody in any sense. He knew, especially when he had stabbed him with the very knife Mag had given him for his 13th birthday, that this was true. It may have not hit him immediately, but the eventual series of night terrors and flashbacks had taught him the hard way. With Juno, though, it felt new. Peter wanted to share the intimacy with this man for as long as he would willingly have him. He didn’t want distance. He wanted to wake up next to him, fingers intertwined and sharing body heat for the rest of the morning. He supposed he knew deep down what Mag had taught him was true, but he wanted to hold on tight to the feeling of mutual admiration for as long as he could; until Juno had proved him otherwise. 

And, well, Juno did.

When Peter Nureyev woke from what could only be considered the best night of his life, Juno was not beside him as he should have been. He worried for only a moment until he reassured himself that, _he’s probably just packing up the rest of his things from the office. You really do worry too much._

He had assumed this notion, so he had waited.

For hours.

Peter figured he could try and track him down and find him, or ask Rita where he might have gone and wandered off to. It was then when he realized, he probably didn’t want to be found. His own words played back to him, _only if it’s the future you want_. Juno didn’t want this future. Juno was just another one night stand, and this time it was him who had done the disappearing. Was this how he made those other men feel? Did karma finally catch up to him? 

He could have sworn he still smelled Juno in the bed sheets. Something like whiskey and cheap cologne. It was the kind of scent you wrote songs about. As cliche as it sounded, he grew fond of the smell. He clinged onto the bed sheets like it was the only thing he knew. If he closed his eyes, he could have sworn he still felt Juno laying next to him. It was dumb to cling on so tight. He never wanted to move. He would be content with staying in this hotel room for the rest of his life, in the bed they had shared and his smell still lingering.

He stared out the window out looking Hyperion City. It was beautiful, really, but he knew deep down that he couldn’t stay in this city forever. As the old man had told him, there were always bigger and better things awaiting him in the next. He didn’t need Juno beside him to appreciate it. So why was he crying? Why couldn’t he muster up the strength to get out of the bed? Why hadn’t he put his clothes back on and left?

He could stop crying, get out of bed, and put his clothes back on and leave. But he figured just a couple more minutes of wallowing in self pity and holding the bed sheets to his face wouldn’t do him much harm.

So, that morning, for the first time in a while, Peter Nureyev had let himself wallow.


End file.
